A Strange Me!

Before, life was simple, it was seen as it was, it was shown as it was.
I left that world far away behind me, and it has been a lot of time since then.
It's all too complicated for me now. It's all fake. Me, the people around, the things happening, everything!
All the people I now know are too fast for me to cope up with their speed.

So, technically, I've outlived my past, and the the present is too fast for me to catch up to meet these fake futuristic demands.

All in all, I'm lost-
It happens sometimes that I can't accept the reality and so I tend to live in delusions... in a photo framed world where I force myself to live in those skeptical boundaries which I can't escape.
And this is happening to me.

It's not just words. I can't let anybody into me.
I talk only because I can't ignore.

Whenever I talk to people from my past, it freaks me out. It makes me realize what I have become, a stranger to my own self.
I have unknowingly changed myself, completely, and now I want to get back where I was before.

Am I still the girl who loved herself more than anything in the world?
Am I still my own fashionista?
Do I still have my conscience alive and strong?
Can I still fight my fights alone?

I doubt if the answers for the above are affirmative, and that's really bad.

I hate my surroundings, feel like getting a new place for myself, going somewhere nobody knows me, and starting all over again with my life, only this time being very very careful.

What I now do is, make friends with machines, speak with the web. I feel nothing, I have not a bit of heart in what I do. I splatter my thoughts over write ups like this and feel relieved. I'm messed up and so are my posts. My thoughts are vague, beyond understanding sometimes. You may not know what I think, but I know what I think, the way I think and I know it's complicated, too heavy.

All I want is that simplicity in my life, I wanna be simple in thoughts, simple in style and again, simple in writing so that- why I write and what I write is lucid and facile.

Hope my next post is much more sententious and meaningful!

The Magic Of Harlem Shake!

Nobody was home this weekend, and I was as usually getting bugged and mad at having nothing to do but being home alone for almost a month!

"Home Alone" usually means "Do what you can", "You're the boss" and "Party Time" until mom comes home, but the case was kinda strange here. I had to cook, take care of the house, keep it neat, send my sis goodies and lunch, everyday, and then study, watch tv, blog, enjoy, dance, and take advantage of being alone, all at once! And also mind my twisted ankle!

Tragic! Ain't it?

Yeah I know, poor me!!

But never mind.

This weekend, as my "Khali Dimag; Shaitan ka Ghar" was doing nothing, and pondering over the buzz of Harlem Shake, I soon found myself jigging at it!

And to add to the wonder, with the jig, my poor ankle that had been wailing since 2 days was back to its angle!! I was back to my dance-zenny-dance mode!!

The Harlem Shake did work wonders!! Lol

Here's a video that definitely demonstrates how mad you can get with the Harlem Shake...Funny it is!

Bragging Behaviours

Choosing teams in real life is a lot different than choosing than choosing teams in a gym class or sides on a chess board! 

--Bragging Beahviours--

The originality revealed, the curses of eternity over flowing through the creeks of desires, forcing continuity to prevail, hindering the gains of successful changes in environment.

That was intense!! Uh!

Monotonous

Doing the last check of the night, I go through my several different internet-social mediums: Facebook, Gmail, Blogger, Yahoo, Twitter, Youtube. Always in this order, though depending on my current position, one or two of these may be exempted due to deletion and/or neglect.

This is the routine. I wonder how I ever managed without these. Then, I wonder why I believe it's essential to my functionality. When will I realize the destructive nature of monotony?

There are a few things more excruciating than nothing.

However, something new has caught my attention, even though at the apex of it all, it's not the only thing, and that's most upsetting. Is it an instinct of survival? Has my mind created the desires and illusions out of pure inactivity?

I check it all again, before going to bed -the pointless social outlets only serving to highlight my own inadequacies...

...until tomorrow, where something, someone, can distract me again between the stages of lacking.