Today You Begin!

Today is the day, the day I start believing again.

Today, today is the day I stop holding myself back tied down with things I wish I'd done differently, burdened with the what-ifs and the if-onlys.

Today, today is the day I remember that there are still good people in this world who wish well and want what I want.

Today, today is the day I regain my faith that there truly is a purpose for everything, each and every step, every heartbreak, every joy, every loss.

These last few weeks, months, years have really tested me, they've scraped me up, bruised me, tested the limits of my strength, stretched the boundaries of my heart, hurt my hands as I tried so hard to hold on to things that were tearing at my grasp. It has been a hard road and yet, here I am, unbroken, still standing, with teary eyes and healing, but ready, ready on this new day to start believing again, believing that the plan for my life is not just already what has happened to me, believing that my future, your destiny is still being written, shaped, refined, perfected, all just like the pieces of a puzzle that don't even have a complete picture painted yet, but eventually will.

Diffidence was never a virtue, and today I promise that I will crown myself with self confidence. No matter who has hurt me, or what's been taken from me, or no matter how many times I've had to start over.

Today, I am standing in the eye of the storm. And once the storm is over, I won't remember how I made it through, how I managed to survive. I won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when I come out of the storm, I won't be the same person who walked in.

If I needed a sign, here it is, its time to let go and go fearlessly, joyfully and with a boundless hope into a fresh new world washed by the storm.

That's what this storm is all about.

That's what today is all about.

Today is my plain canvas to start over.

Today is the day.

Today I Begin!

On my own... Making things alright...

After so long, I thought I might as well try living life my own way than trying to please others who want me to live theirs..
And here I am! I've made some changes in my routine and I've also set some goals. (You might also want to check my updated bucket list.)

Old habits die easier than we think and new ones form. So much has changed, life has changed here. No longer do I wake up to the nightmares at 4, I rather wake up to the morning radio and the milkman's calls.

I don't feel cold and nor do I yearn for friends like before, I don't miss them, but I don't feel like meeting any of them at all. I think I'll find a way out, I might even grow accustomed to a place where people rush to places as if they were rushing for life, with no human touch at all people here just go about their business. I've been put to cold tests for long enough; I don't find it hard here, though it looks as if I were in a world where love has turned around, .

Life is like wind, resist and you'll be knocked over, blend into it and you'll smoothly glide onto the other side. The challenge is to cope with it, not just cope with it but thrive and survive, and I will.

It's true that the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing. And I'm glad I gathered the courage to stand up against all those who wanted to hold me back.

All I know about the future is that it'll change, it'll be different. What I fear is that it'll be the same, and I don't wanna go back to the same dawning and live it all over.

So I'm going to celebrate the changes and be happy as life greets me with it.

Because, Everything's Gonna Be Alright in the end and if it's not alright, then trust me, it's not yet the end.

Goodbye Dread!

I watched our world's separate!
I looked through to the other side of the window,
as thick smoke curtained the gap between us,
as I departed,
.
.
.
and as the train left!

It was then I realised,
it's not just time,
not just people,
.
.
.
but my own emotions as well that had joined hands to boycott me from that woeful world and brace my own dreams.

The same old world where I used to live and hoard my sorrow of loneliness and crave the bliss of togetherness had now made me a stranger to myself!

Goodbye dark old world, I wish I had never let myself in...

(Like a lot of my posts, this one too was written a lot later than the time stamp shows, I scheduled it to an earlier date just because I  wanted them to be sequenced appropriately.)