Goddesses Slayed No More!

According to a huge population in this world, the body of a female only exists for a man's needs, for him to explore and enjoy. Her hands exist to cook for him in the day and give him a job at night, her legs to walk her from his bedroom to his kitchen and her mouth was never meant to speak, her mouth exists to sing like a bird, smile at his sight, agree to his decisions and to give him the best head he could have ever imagined.

You'd pray to Goddess Aphrodite and Kamakhya Devi but you don't want to see them in the woman before you. You made her body a temple, not her. She doesn't want to be a temple. Why don't you be a temple for a day and then we will talk? If she wanted to be a goddess, she'd be the goddess of sexuality and power and don't you dare tell me she's any less pure.

What a bunch of lunatics we are convincing women to get their breasts and ass enlargements in order to look good then covering them up safely kept aside for the bedroom, exclusively for the man to see. This doesn't mean that women want to go around uncovered, it's about what you assume she wants and how you treat her.

A world where marital rape is not a crime, but the sound of her masturbation makes your ears bleed.
You're the one with desires, but her addressing them will have her killed. Every guy wants to be blown. But the idea of her saying this out loud? Of course, it makes her a characterless slut.

You take her as your trophy wife/girlfriend, because she and her sexuality are something you have won, and you like to boast about it to your friends about how well your demonized plans were executed last night.

You can't take it when say denies to give birth to an offspring. She's only raised to get married off to a man that can impregnate her, to have a son that can dominate her, and god forbid she has a daughter and she lives, you'll give her all the shit you couldn't give the mother. After all she must take the legacy forward. This doesn't mean all women don't want to get married or have no babies, it only means that you are nobody to force her to do anything.

You can't fathom the fact that she could dress this way just for herself, your little brain doesn't understand that her sexuality is not limited to being admired by a man. She doesn't need you to be aroused by her knees and her shoulders just because they are gateways to places you want to go to. That's your problem, not her's. She loves her body as it is. Her body is not asking for it. She is not asking for anything.

You are unfortunately the reason prostitution exists in our country. It is illegal even though you want the orgasm, because these women are nothing but a dirty hole to you. You judge them despite your need for them. You jerk off to porn but you can't handle a life partner who's aware of her sexuality. You'll make out with her, but she's not worthy of love and respect. You think equality is throwing her a pair of bikini because she can't fight in her bra -  well, she sure as hell can.

I wasn't actually going to talk about anything but then why not?

[Image Credits: Sonal Kothari]

The Under-Rated Female Financial Paradox!

A much socially ingrained and biologically inherent societal norm is the tendency for women to put themselves last in virtually all things.

Women are moving forward and making wealth for themselves, sharing equal ranks in more than 40% of the world's wealthiest people as a growing economic force, at the same time these women also fail to build the appropriate net worth. Women can become the richer sex but it isn't happening. This is where the concept of Female Financial Paradox comes in. And it's really interesting given its familiarity with an oxymoron. Many Indian women reach poverty by the time of their retirement even though Indian household savings are one of the highest in the world.

There are reasons:

While the basics of solid financial planing are the same for both men and women, women often face lifestyle and economic issues that require special consideration.
Women tend to live longer than men on an average. At the same time, its women who are more likely to be responsible for the domestic budget and financially supporting everyone in the family, themselves being last in the list.
They don't save money for long term goals but rather for protection against unexpected circumstances at home and hearth.
With a very poorly planned retirement, they turn into stay at home spouses or don't save enough for self.
(Most) Indian women don't take risks when it comes to investment. They would rather go for assured minimal return investments at short term to steer clear of economic adversaries.
Stock exchange and women still seem to appear on flip sides of the action plan.
And unfortunately many women are also raised with the concept that their husbands will take care of the finances, they being the inessential earner in the family. And on the day of reckoning, when they lose their spouse, they are least prepared to handle it.

Ladies procrastinate, they shouldn't. None of us have much time and time is too precious. And it won't be long before we retire and realise the bitter truth.

It is imperative that women realign their priorities and make the financial decisions for their future. In fact if women aren't fulfilled, then it is only possible that women will see others through the same filter of emptiness and led to conflicts.

So ladies, what is the best way to put yourself first?

You are your family's greatest asset. Nothing in your family thrives or succeeds without you being happy, healthy and mentally fulfilled. Having  sound financial plan is the best way to support you and your efforts.

Don't rely on someone else for your financial well being. Educate yourself about investing and money management. Set realistic goals as it is the primary key to your success. Be involved in day-to-day management of your family's finances. Build and emergency fund and don't let fear of failure stop you from investing.

This post has been published here too!

Haww! Your Lingerie Was Stolen? You Only Have Yourself To Blame!

NEWS HEADLINES:  A village in UP suffers the wrath of a lingerie thief this summer. Women blamed for drying their lingerie in the open.

This weekend I came across weird news of a strange series of incidents happening since 90 days that had left the women of Prabhupur village of Chandauli district in Uttar Pradesh, India, baffled.
Why baffled?
Someone had been stealing their lingerie whenever they hung it to dry in the open.
Who you ask?
A 11 year old boy seemingly suffering from an unsound physical condition is the culprit.
Why didn’t they report it sooner?
Well, because of the stigma attached to it, the stigma attached to women wearing lingerie.
What is even more surprising is that even after the women upped their courage and complained about it to the village pradhan, who is also a woman, she didn’t take any action and waved it off.
It shocking how many sets of valued lingerie must they have lost, but they didn’t even discuss about it because they were shy, scared and apologetic that they even owned one.
Why were they conscious, intimidated and ashamed of accepting a basic fact that they are human and like anyone else, they would definitely wear garments of all types to cover themselves and their body parts.
Men wear lingerie; it just has a different name. Well, they shouldn’t be guilty of that because A. they are men, B. everyone knows the need to wear it, why hide, C. any other sexist reason
Women wear lingerie too;  but they shouldn’t reveal it, the same lingerie that is openly advertised on the television, on bill boards on the roads, in malls, and in porn. It is considered an open secret that everyone knows but nobody talks about it.
Why is everything about women considered clandestine?
Their dreams, their achievements, their passions, their needs, the clothes that they wear, their periods, the problems they face and the violence they suffer in silence. Everything about women is considered unholy and embarrassing.

May be that’s why the village pradhan didn’t report it to the police officers. Eventually when all the women had lost all their pretty pieces, a anonymous old man did gather the courage to report it to the SHO who later found out that a local adolescent had decided to trouble the women by stealing their lingerie as it hung dry in the sun and later dumping them in the village sewers.

Did they find a solution to the problem?
Well, they did. They blamed the women for hanging such shameful items out in the women. They should have dried them somewhere in secret, preferably in their homes, in the dark, according to the SHO.
Hats off to the police authority for such an incredible and errorless solution. None of the officers, not even the best in the country could have thought of such a magnificent idea.

Is this the only village when women are facing such issues?
I live in a city where I often see women and girl as young as 8, hiding their clothes under a towel as they go for their shower.
I have travelled many places and everywhere I witnessed sanitary napkins being wrapped in news paper or black plastic before being sold. A friend of mine would rather bleed through her dress than go and buy a pack for herself on her period.
I have seen girls being morally educated by random strangers and friends as their bra strap decided to slide a few inches into the open.
Is this the only country where this is happening? I doubt that.
We, women exist everywhere on the planet and account for nearly half or more of the human population. Yet, we, women have to fight for our rights as humans and for our peaceful existence among men.

This post was featured on Women's Web too! Click here or on the image to read it there!

The woman next door.

It was Sunday morning, beautiful weather, cool breeze through the trees. She woke up and lazed over the balcony wondering what a gifted day it was after a hard week at work. That's when she saw the woman next door who was just back after dropping her kids to their gymnastics classes.

She waved at the woman, "Good morning, what plans for the day?" The woman smiled back, "Guests from his office are coming over, have to make a lot of preparations, got to go!"

She sighed as she walked back in, what a blessed life the woman next door had- she was highly educated, but she had a hectic schedule at home and didn't have time to work elsewhere, from getting her kids ready for classes to preparing for parties with her husband, to going to tours abroad, she had it all. She was smiles all the time and couldn't be happier when her husband smiled back at her after the evening party at their home.

What more could she want, she yearned- a loving husband, pretty daunting kids, house always filled with friends and relatives, not even a hint of depression or loneliness, a perfect family.

She looked at herself and lamented at her accomplishments, an astounding degree, an esteemed job, extravagant pay, a luxurious house, she was beautiful inside and outside, she could do what she wanted now, but she was alone. Loneliness and depression haunted her day and night. She craved for a family like the woman next door.

Meanwhile, after the guests left and the party, the woman was back in a bedroom relieved from her husband's smile which was proof that everything went well, she rested, but wasn't at peace. Deep inside their picture perfect life, there was a dark world that killed her each day. Though they were all smiles in front of everyone, they hardly talked to each other at home. She wanted to establish her career but her husband was only interested in his, and though she was highly educated, she wasn't allowed to work because reasons. She didn't like his parties but went anyway for her husband. Her kids were growing up with no regard for her and she wondered who was she sacrificing all this for?

The woman yearned for a life as successful as her neighbour. She was educated, had an exciting job, good pay, had a big house, wasn't married or had any kids, she was single. She could pursue her dreams with no boundaries, no one to stop her and question her. She was free.

The woman wondered when would she be able to free herself from the shackles of her homely pretentious life. She thirsted for love and freedom.

These women lived their lives but craved for the one next door.

They didn't know the dark realities of their neighbours' life.

Had they known would they still have been envious?

Would they still crave for it?

This shows how harsh women's lives are.
Whether married or not, a woman is always expected to give up something to get what she wants.
But does she deserve it?
They say- "Kuch Paane ke Liye Kuch Khone Padta Hain", "No Pain, No Gain"!
But men aren't expected to give up anything for the sake of marriage or career, then why us?

HEADLINES: PC's leg showoff! - Feminism for all!

Click on the picture above to read this post on BlogAdda!

When men wear shorts and show their legs, its okay, no one even bothers to look at them because he is trying to be cool and comfy. It's no big deal.But the moment a girl wears anything above her mid calves, she has to face moral disgrace and slut shaming. She has definitely no respect for anyone around her.

When boys put up shirtless selfies, its definitely not to arouse women, (it's again your fault if you are), it's to show their ripped abs and their shoulders. they're showing their masculinity and their hard work in the gym.
But the moment a girl wears a low neck line showing her cleavage, "they" are the ones feeling aroused and it's her fault. She is doing this to attract them. She is just asking to get raped by showcasing the breasts to all these masculine men who are now turned on by it.

HEADLINES again: PC was slammed today on twitter and other social media for 'showing legs' to Indian PM Modi!

Why do we keep sexualising women and their bodies and why is it okay for men to roam around as naked as they can?

As far back as in 1936 did the officers of marine corps began the movement of 'Free The Nipple' in the US after which it was legalised only in some of the states for men to be allowed to roam topless. In many parts of the world and in the US, its still illegal.
Did we expect to see the naked torso of men in public before 1936? Why not?
It seems so normal now.

What do we understand from this?

Its all a matter of time when we regard certain things appropriate or not.
So if women in the world today are fighting for equality in freedom and power, it isn't too much to ask for.
For many, this may seem to be a demand out of the world, but let me tell you, it won't be a few years from now.

PS, those of you who feel this is all about only allowing women to be naked, it isn't.

It's about letting women do what they want, be it a matter of travel, marriage, work, fashion, clothes, language, empowerment, authority, justice, education, sex, appearance or lifestyle, it's her wish.

It is about gender equality.
It is feminism.

It is for all of us.

HEADLINES: Raped Again- Survival is a shame.

This post was featured on Women'sWeb in June!

To read this post on Women's Web, click here.

NEWS HEADLINES in last week's papers:

Woman raped for years by her husband survived.
A 3-year old girl raped and thrown into the woods survived, rapists at large.
An old lady raped and murdered in her apartment, murder reason unknown.
A woman tortured to have sex till she gave in, victim hospitalised.
Another girl killed.
Raped girl survives.

I wonder why isn't anyone enraged by these?
There are so many things wrong about this.

The media that portrays only the victim and their status-raped.
None of the headlines were about the rapists and the murderers.
Every page has the headline raped, tortured for sex, acid attacks, raped and killed, which was so entertaining for most of us and has now become just another boring story.
The word 'survived'.
SURVIVED.

The raped-tortured-almost dead-girl-with haunting memories-broken dreams-full of fear survived.

What do we do about this?
We read and we move on.
Not caring to want to know the girl, her feelings, her thoughts, her rage!
Not caring why the person raped/murdered her and wondering why 'she' was raped.
Not caring enough to see whether the culprits and rapist animals were punished for their crime.
Not caring enough to check whether the girl really survived or not.
Not caring enough if her family stood by her or if she had to fight all this alone.

Because survival is staying alive.
Staying alive to worry who will marry her.
Staying alive to only be looked down at.
Staying alive to receive a status perceived as impure by the society.
Staying alive to see her offenders roam freely searching for another victim.
Staying alive to survive all this.

Of course she will survive and she will live for a hundred years.

But not for this.

She will live to see that her offenders are punished for their actions, for not respecting her and her body, for not asking her consent, for not being able to contain their cruel intentions, for leaving her to die, for not being human.

Its such a shame that we who talk about feminism, and pray to women in the form of goddesses and deities still do not respect even the tiniest form of female and dash to destroy it in the most vicious manner ever.
Its such a shame that we who talk about gender equality limit females and their importance to their sheer body and its parts which define their purity, character, decency, modesty, education, success, eligibility to marry and to have a family.
Its such a shame that we live among the same people and call them hypocrites when all we do is popularise misogyny and support the same hypocrisy that we criticise.
Its such a shame that we do not understand the meaning of survival unless 'it' happens to us.
Its such a shame that 'it' shouldn't be happening to any of us, not even the rapists, yet we do it.
'It' is such a shame.
Such survival is a shame.

Am I A Feminist?

Recently someone asked me why I keep posting passive aggressive articles regarding gender equality, women, why do I hate men so much and if I was a feminist?

Let me affirm that my articles are not aggressive, they are just strict reminders to all those who have forgotten that the whole human race includes men and women and also any other individual regardless of the gender they identify themselves with, and none is inferior to the other.

Ever wondered why feminism exists and "masculinism" doesn't?
Of course a word like that wouldn't make it into the dictionary but seriously, what did women do to be perceived this way?
Women are often seen as weaker than men when they're the ones who have to grow a life inside their abdomens and get that thing sucked out of their vaginas.

There are hardly any female leaders in general and it's considered headline-worthy when a female accomplishes anything.
If anyone finds my posts aggressive in the least it only means that they don't understand the real definition of human.

It only means that they want to continue living in hypocrisy and with their misogynistic attitude no matter what.
So no, I am not exactly a feminist, besides I also like siding with the men many a times, so I don't hate men either.

I don't understand why everyone gets so stirred and frantic over this term?

F-E-M-I-N-I-S-M

Feminists are often termed as 'femi-nazis'.

They are percieved as draculas out seeking blood of every person who dares to offend them.

No. It's not just that.

Feminists are those who stand up not just for women, but also for men and those people who are yet to identify their gender including children.

And yes, they will seek your blood if you don't understand the mere meaning of equality, and continue harassing and subduing the ones who don't deserve to be treated so.

And if they are still called nazis and draculas, so be it!

Also. after reading this post if you still think I'm a feminist, then I don't mind being called one.

Maybe I'd be proud of it.
I'd be proud that my posts intrigued and provoked you.
That I have the power to evoke that anger and thirst for justice in a world, in a people who have long forgotten what women are capable of.
That I am indeed a feminist.

Do we wait till it gets as bad?

She has to feel like the sun could burn her if she stands directly under it without the protection of her multi-layered attire.

So when a girl walks out wearing clothes from neck to toes, she wonders if she is safe, because her mother insisted she would be.

She knows she's not.

People tell her "You're safe! It's all okay!" but it's not and it's not the sun that scares her!

From childhood to adulthood girls are never allowed to show skin, ever.

If at all at any point they do, they're smitten for it verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally, by parents, friends, relatives, and strangers on the road.
Until man decides to whack them for no reason at all when they're on the street and he masturbates as they walk by, just because.

She knows someone somewhere is watching her, just because she's a woman.

She knows someone somewhere is plotting to hurt her, just because she's a woman.

- When a man whistles at her as she walks across the road, she thinks it's her fault. She immediately thinks of the mole between her breasts and curses, wondering if her kurti has too low a neck.

- When a man ogles at her, she thinks she made him do it. She may have looked at him for a second too long, or maybe she had it coming because she wore a t-shirt that covered her completely, but that's never enough and she knows it.

- When a man masturbates, he enjoys her terror at the realisation of what he's doing. She thinks she should've acted slower, gotten him caught in the act and made sure that she took slow steps towards the matter.

- When a man rapes her, she is made to feel that it was her fault and she invited it. The worst part is that if it isn't rape, it isn't even a crime. So long as her senses have suffered, but her "body is still pure", she is fine.

To the world, I, am a woman only if!

Only if, I have become the living avatar of Goddess Kali and taken my revenge.

After all, I cannot feel mutilated before I feel anger, and once I feel the anger, I'm acting irrationally.

So when men do things to us, look at us in a way we know is wrong, touch us in a way we don't want, force us to feel things that make us cower in fear as we cross the street in broad daylight, we feel men don't care if a woman feels, screams, or breathes.

It feels like they're hollering, "She's a woman. She knows what's coming to her."

We are never allowed to feel completely safe, because we are baby making machines.

Every time something bad happens to one of us, we try to subdue the pain thinking at least it wasn't a bad as..., till it gets as bad and then worse and there's no way out.

This post was featured here!

Taming the untamed...

Mention any cult or group, and we will find practises and norms laid down for women that would turn us contemporary women into outraged devils hungry for justice. There are many writings and ancient rules that further the dis-allowance of women to do things that were permissible to men.

Why even make such rules?

This is just one example where men have tried to dominate over women, this misogyny has played its part too, in India, where women are worshipped as goddesses and have also been tried as slaves and sold as brides with dowry...  The designations men have for women: sluts and whores and what not in 7104 other languages where women take birth to give birth, work and entertain men.

Now, if she sleeps with you, she is a slut and if she doesn't you simply call her a whore and move on. Either way, females are humiliated, frowned upon and abused.

However hard we try, the barbaric attitude of men towards females seems to be unabated and unfazed no matter what rules and laws are made, men can't be policed!

They are the untamable wild creatures of nature who were created to be so. Period.

According to our forefathers (there has never ever been any importance given to foremothers, mind you!), women are meant to be tamed, bound, intimidated, enslaved and protected by the owner from other men as if they were objects like cattle and stock which could be stolen or fought over for ownership. We hear guys fighting over for girls, bets being placed on our bodies and abuses made out of our body parts hurled at each other in anger and as jokes to humiliate us too. This not about feminism or equality, it is about women being treated as individuals and humans with rights to their own body and life. We don't owe you anything men, even our birth was given by a woman.

We are supposed to stay behind the veil and if we ever decide to come out of it then what happens to us next is only our responsibility, as it was the girl's who was raped in the bus and thrown on the road, as it was the woman's who was molested on new year's eve, as it was the little girl's who was born to a family with men. And this is normal, this is how it has always been since ages and we aren't expected to oppose it. Being normal is not necessarily a virtue, sometimes it rather denotes lack of courage. It's not the future that we are afraid of, it's repeating the past that makes us anxious, hence 'what if' always remain unanswered!

Have you ever heard of a topless man being groped in the midst of 50 women? Never! But when its a woman walking completely clad and covered (or not) she becomes an object of entertainment and molestation because she is a woman. Forget about 50 men, lets just take a woman amidst 3-4 men from her own family, would they leave her untouched? Okay, let's take a woman and her own husband, does he even wait for her acceptance before he enforces himself on her? Every 4th woman has a history of being assaulted by her own family members.

Do men even understand the meaning of consent?

Why can't men keep their body and thoughts to themselves?

To men: "Is it because you can't or you just won't?"

Men can't, we have seen them helpless, but we can!

Not all men are alike, but the ones who don't indulge in such violence are the ones who make up the audience that whistles and coaxes the rest to commit such horrible tussles and escapades (for men). They have all sorts of reasons for their actions like being drunk, the woman was standing/sitting too close to him, the woman was scarcely clad, because he was a man with needs or may be because she was just a woman and SHE EXISTED!

Men hate women so much that they go berserk to the point of causing life-threatening injury if women "invade" their spaces never mind their constant whining and mocking women's need for safe spaces from men.

There have been incidences where a woman is beat up at home or in public, and no one dares to interfere because they feel that she is being beaten up by someone who owns her.

Now, let me restate the misogynistic definition of an ownership of a woman: "A woman can only be owned by her father, brother, husband, boyfriend, or the male head of the group or society she belongs to. She has no right to any of her dreams, soul, life and body and remains to be in the same state until death. Throughout her life, the ownership may vary, but the order is never feminine, neither can she set herself free nor can she buy her way out of it. If she tries to escape any of her boundaries (which includes all human feelings and aspirations), she will be burnt alive, shamed and shunned upon, looked upon as an outlandish morality, paraded naked or even raped and let to die."

In order to uproot this misogyny, we need to stand up against a plethora of violence which begins right from the moment we are born... It's time we tame the untamed!
[Image Source : pixabay]

This post was published here too!