The woman next door.

It was Sunday morning, beautiful weather, cool breeze through the trees. She woke up and lazed over the balcony wondering what a gifted day it was after a hard week at work. That's when she saw the woman next door who was just back after dropping her kids to their gymnastics classes.

She waved at the woman, "Good morning, what plans for the day?" The woman smiled back, "Guests from his office are coming over, have to make a lot of preparations, got to go!"

She sighed as she walked back in, what a blessed life the woman next door had- she was highly educated, but she had a hectic schedule at home and didn't have time to work elsewhere, from getting her kids ready for classes to preparing for parties with her husband, to going to tours abroad, she had it all. She was smiles all the time and couldn't be happier when her husband smiled back at her after the evening party at their home.

What more could she want, she yearned- a loving husband, pretty daunting kids, house always filled with friends and relatives, not even a hint of depression or loneliness, a perfect family.

She looked at herself and lamented at her accomplishments, an astounding degree, an esteemed job, extravagant pay, a luxurious house, she was beautiful inside and outside, she could do what she wanted now, but she was alone. Loneliness and depression haunted her day and night. She craved for a family like the woman next door.

Meanwhile, after the guests left and the party, the woman was back in a bedroom relieved from her husband's smile which was proof that everything went well, she rested, but wasn't at peace. Deep inside their picture perfect life, there was a dark world that killed her each day. Though they were all smiles in front of everyone, they hardly talked to each other at home. She wanted to establish her career but her husband was only interested in his, and though she was highly educated, she wasn't allowed to work because reasons. She didn't like his parties but went anyway for her husband. Her kids were growing up with no regard for her and she wondered who was she sacrificing all this for?

The woman yearned for a life as successful as her neighbour. She was educated, had an exciting job, good pay, had a big house, wasn't married or had any kids, she was single. She could pursue her dreams with no boundaries, no one to stop her and question her. She was free.

The woman wondered when would she be able to free herself from the shackles of her homely pretentious life. She thirsted for love and freedom.

These women lived their lives but craved for the one next door.

They didn't know the dark realities of their neighbours' life.

Had they known would they still have been envious?

Would they still crave for it?

This shows how harsh women's lives are.
Whether married or not, a woman is always expected to give up something to get what she wants.
But does she deserve it?
They say- "Kuch Paane ke Liye Kuch Khone Padta Hain", "No Pain, No Gain"!
But men aren't expected to give up anything for the sake of marriage or career, then why us?

HEADLINES: Raped Again- Survival is a shame.

This post was featured on Women'sWeb in June!

To read this post on Women's Web, click here.

NEWS HEADLINES in last week's papers:

Woman raped for years by her husband survived.
A 3-year old girl raped and thrown into the woods survived, rapists at large.
An old lady raped and murdered in her apartment, murder reason unknown.
A woman tortured to have sex till she gave in, victim hospitalised.
Another girl killed.
Raped girl survives.

I wonder why isn't anyone enraged by these?
There are so many things wrong about this.

The media that portrays only the victim and their status-raped.
None of the headlines were about the rapists and the murderers.
Every page has the headline raped, tortured for sex, acid attacks, raped and killed, which was so entertaining for most of us and has now become just another boring story.
The word 'survived'.
SURVIVED.

The raped-tortured-almost dead-girl-with haunting memories-broken dreams-full of fear survived.

What do we do about this?
We read and we move on.
Not caring to want to know the girl, her feelings, her thoughts, her rage!
Not caring why the person raped/murdered her and wondering why 'she' was raped.
Not caring enough to see whether the culprits and rapist animals were punished for their crime.
Not caring enough to check whether the girl really survived or not.
Not caring enough if her family stood by her or if she had to fight all this alone.

Because survival is staying alive.
Staying alive to worry who will marry her.
Staying alive to only be looked down at.
Staying alive to receive a status perceived as impure by the society.
Staying alive to see her offenders roam freely searching for another victim.
Staying alive to survive all this.

Of course she will survive and she will live for a hundred years.

But not for this.

She will live to see that her offenders are punished for their actions, for not respecting her and her body, for not asking her consent, for not being able to contain their cruel intentions, for leaving her to die, for not being human.

Its such a shame that we who talk about feminism, and pray to women in the form of goddesses and deities still do not respect even the tiniest form of female and dash to destroy it in the most vicious manner ever.
Its such a shame that we who talk about gender equality limit females and their importance to their sheer body and its parts which define their purity, character, decency, modesty, education, success, eligibility to marry and to have a family.
Its such a shame that we live among the same people and call them hypocrites when all we do is popularise misogyny and support the same hypocrisy that we criticise.
Its such a shame that we do not understand the meaning of survival unless 'it' happens to us.
Its such a shame that 'it' shouldn't be happening to any of us, not even the rapists, yet we do it.
'It' is such a shame.
Such survival is a shame.

Am I A Feminist?

Recently someone asked me why I keep posting passive aggressive articles regarding gender equality, women, why do I hate men so much and if I was a feminist?

Let me affirm that my articles are not aggressive, they are just strict reminders to all those who have forgotten that the whole human race includes men and women and also any other individual regardless of the gender they identify themselves with, and none is inferior to the other.

Ever wondered why feminism exists and "masculinism" doesn't?
Of course a word like that wouldn't make it into the dictionary but seriously, what did women do to be perceived this way?
Women are often seen as weaker than men when they're the ones who have to grow a life inside their abdomens and get that thing sucked out of their vaginas.

There are hardly any female leaders in general and it's considered headline-worthy when a female accomplishes anything.
If anyone finds my posts aggressive in the least it only means that they don't understand the real definition of human.

It only means that they want to continue living in hypocrisy and with their misogynistic attitude no matter what.
So no, I am not exactly a feminist, besides I also like siding with the men many a times, so I don't hate men either.

I don't understand why everyone gets so stirred and frantic over this term?

F-E-M-I-N-I-S-M

Feminists are often termed as 'femi-nazis'.

They are percieved as draculas out seeking blood of every person who dares to offend them.

No. It's not just that.

Feminists are those who stand up not just for women, but also for men and those people who are yet to identify their gender including children.

And yes, they will seek your blood if you don't understand the mere meaning of equality, and continue harassing and subduing the ones who don't deserve to be treated so.

And if they are still called nazis and draculas, so be it!

Also. after reading this post if you still think I'm a feminist, then I don't mind being called one.

Maybe I'd be proud of it.
I'd be proud that my posts intrigued and provoked you.
That I have the power to evoke that anger and thirst for justice in a world, in a people who have long forgotten what women are capable of.
That I am indeed a feminist.

Taming the untamed...

Mention any cult or group, and we will find practises and norms laid down for women that would turn us contemporary women into outraged devils hungry for justice. There are many writings and ancient rules that further the dis-allowance of women to do things that were permissible to men.

Why even make such rules?

This is just one example where men have tried to dominate over women, this misogyny has played its part too, in India, where women are worshipped as goddesses and have also been tried as slaves and sold as brides with dowry...  The designations men have for women: sluts and whores and what not in 7104 other languages where women take birth to give birth, work and entertain men.

Now, if she sleeps with you, she is a slut and if she doesn't you simply call her a whore and move on. Either way, females are humiliated, frowned upon and abused.

However hard we try, the barbaric attitude of men towards females seems to be unabated and unfazed no matter what rules and laws are made, men can't be policed!

They are the untamable wild creatures of nature who were created to be so. Period.

According to our forefathers (there has never ever been any importance given to foremothers, mind you!), women are meant to be tamed, bound, intimidated, enslaved and protected by the owner from other men as if they were objects like cattle and stock which could be stolen or fought over for ownership. We hear guys fighting over for girls, bets being placed on our bodies and abuses made out of our body parts hurled at each other in anger and as jokes to humiliate us too. This not about feminism or equality, it is about women being treated as individuals and humans with rights to their own body and life. We don't owe you anything men, even our birth was given by a woman.

We are supposed to stay behind the veil and if we ever decide to come out of it then what happens to us next is only our responsibility, as it was the girl's who was raped in the bus and thrown on the road, as it was the woman's who was molested on new year's eve, as it was the little girl's who was born to a family with men. And this is normal, this is how it has always been since ages and we aren't expected to oppose it. Being normal is not necessarily a virtue, sometimes it rather denotes lack of courage. It's not the future that we are afraid of, it's repeating the past that makes us anxious, hence 'what if' always remain unanswered!

Have you ever heard of a topless man being groped in the midst of 50 women? Never! But when its a woman walking completely clad and covered (or not) she becomes an object of entertainment and molestation because she is a woman. Forget about 50 men, lets just take a woman amidst 3-4 men from her own family, would they leave her untouched? Okay, let's take a woman and her own husband, does he even wait for her acceptance before he enforces himself on her? Every 4th woman has a history of being assaulted by her own family members.

Do men even understand the meaning of consent?

Why can't men keep their body and thoughts to themselves?

To men: "Is it because you can't or you just won't?"

Men can't, we have seen them helpless, but we can!

Not all men are alike, but the ones who don't indulge in such violence are the ones who make up the audience that whistles and coaxes the rest to commit such horrible tussles and escapades (for men). They have all sorts of reasons for their actions like being drunk, the woman was standing/sitting too close to him, the woman was scarcely clad, because he was a man with needs or may be because she was just a woman and SHE EXISTED!

Men hate women so much that they go berserk to the point of causing life-threatening injury if women "invade" their spaces never mind their constant whining and mocking women's need for safe spaces from men.

There have been incidences where a woman is beat up at home or in public, and no one dares to interfere because they feel that she is being beaten up by someone who owns her.

Now, let me restate the misogynistic definition of an ownership of a woman: "A woman can only be owned by her father, brother, husband, boyfriend, or the male head of the group or society she belongs to. She has no right to any of her dreams, soul, life and body and remains to be in the same state until death. Throughout her life, the ownership may vary, but the order is never feminine, neither can she set herself free nor can she buy her way out of it. If she tries to escape any of her boundaries (which includes all human feelings and aspirations), she will be burnt alive, shamed and shunned upon, looked upon as an outlandish morality, paraded naked or even raped and let to die."

In order to uproot this misogyny, we need to stand up against a plethora of violence which begins right from the moment we are born... It's time we tame the untamed!
[Image Source : pixabay]

This post was published here too!