Monday 28 May 2018

If Women Wrote Men The Way Men Write Women

I happened to log into my twitter account after really long, and discovered what educative and informative trend I missed last month, or rather anti-feminist and parodying!
Here's the tag started by Whitney Reynolds, and a few tweets that kept the thread and the laugh going:













Enough said and parodied:
All above board, I think it's not about how men write about women, its about how we all depict one gender differently from the other.
These people have fairly shown how crass and insensitive writers have been when it comes to depicting and visualizing women anywhere, virtual or real, in books or on TV, professionally and even personally describing their lives or the individuals themselves.
I have rarely read about any male character being defined so voluptuously as females have ever been.
We find it weird if men use their body becoming a social climber, when men lay themselves on the bed for a job, when the only thing a man wants is no work, to settle with money and family with kids, when man subtly arranges himself to provoke a woman, when man wants to seduce her woman and ask her to stay back from work, when a man says no but really means a yes, when a woman is depicted strong, when a man feels emotional or depressed, when a woman is career oriented and man is not?
Why do we find it strange and begin to ponder when gender stereotyping and roles exchange?
And it makes me think if we still continue reading and looking at women like this, how long do we have until we realise it's too much. How long will it take for us to fight for men to be similarly depicted and we all end up being a part of a society that only fights to pull each other down? How long will it take for us to respect every individual and stop stereotyping genders.

Monday 21 May 2018

The Feels Of Anxiety #2

I wake up tired in the morning. I don't get much sleep at night. I spend hours and hours thinking, obsessing. I replay every mistake I've ever made, over and over in my head. And always beat myself up over it. It consumes my thoughts like the mold on an apple. I can never get it out of my head. It eats me up on the inside.
I'm constantly glued to my phone thriving on the approval of others, searching for my daily fixes of Instagram likes, story views and twitter retweets, aimlessly scrolling for most of the day. Social media is like a drug. How can the name be so ironic as it must be un-social media, cutting off from the real social world.
I constantly fear the worst scenario in every situation. Before first dates I'm convinced I'm going the say the wrong things or going to act the wrong way. Before road trips I fear disastrous accidents.
I obsess over everything in my head. What I should have said in the conversation. What if I did or said the wrong thing? The way that somebody looked at me yesterday. The fact that my mates haven't texted me back yet and I start debating what I did to upset them. Paranoia creeps in and I feel that my friends really don't like me. It seems silly to others. But for me? Its real fears. Its real to me.
I cancel events that I really want to go to. When the day eventually comes and my anxiety is in full force, I have to say no. Short term fixes to long term problems when deep down I know its making my anxiety worse. My friends think that I'm unreliable and tell me to just get over it. But I can't. If they only knew the best choice for me is to stay at home and get to sleep. But sleep is always an issue for me. It's hard for me to get to sleep because I have so many things to digest and contemplate about the day that I had. My mind never seems to shut off. It's like I'm trapped in my spiraling thoughts. hours of staring at the ceiling pass, night falls and the cycle continues.

Wednesday 16 May 2018

That Nonexistent Spark

Why wouldn't they let me in, I wondered. May be because they thought it was temporary. May be because they'd always get tired after sometime. May be because they were scared when they felt a spark.
Well, I'm glad I didn't get in because I needed a fire.

It started out as a small spark. Our spark was different from all the others. Our spark didn't fly like all the others & our spark never grew into a giant fire like all the others. As soon as I realised who you really were I dumped a bucket of water on it.

That small meaningless spark!

It's gone.
It's gone forever.
And now that spark is nonexistent.
And I'm glad!

Friday 4 May 2018

The Under-Rated Female Financial Paradox!

A much socially ingrained and biologically inherent societal norm is the tendency for women to put themselves last in virtually all things.

Women are moving forward and making wealth for themselves, sharing equal ranks in more than 40% of the world's wealthiest people as a growing economic force, at the same time these women also fail to build the appropriate net worth. Women can become the richer sex but it isn't happening. This is where the concept of Female Financial Paradox comes in. And it's really interesting given its familiarity with an oxymoron. Many Indian women reach poverty by the time of their retirement even though Indian household savings are one of the highest in the world.

There are reasons:
While the basics of solid financial planing are the same for both men and women, women often face lifestyle and economic issues that require special consideration.
Women tend to live longer than men on an average. At the same time, its women who are more likely to be responsible for the domestic budget and financially supporting everyone in the family, themselves being last in the list.
They don't save money for long term goals but rather for protection against unexpected circumstances at home and hearth.
With a very poorly planned retirement, they turn into stay at home spouses or don't save enough for self.
(Most) Indian women don't take risks when it comes to investment. They would rather go for assured minimal return investments at short term to steer clear of economic adversaries.
Stock exchange and women still seem to appear on flip sides of the action plan.
And unfortunately many women are also raised with the concept that their husbands will take care of the finances, they being the inessential earner in the family. And on the day of reckoning, when they lose their spouse, they are least prepared to handle it.

Ladies procrastinate, they shouldn't. None of us have much time and time is too precious. And it won't be long before we retire and realise the bitter truth.

It is imperative that women realign their priorities and make the financial decisions for their future. In fact if women aren't fulfilled, then it is only possible that women will see others through the same filter of emptiness and led to conflicts.

So ladies, what is the best way to put yourself first?

You are your family's greatest asset. Nothing in your family thrives or succeeds without you being happy, healthy and mentally fulfilled. Having  sound financial plan is the best way to support you and your efforts.

Don't rely on someone else for your financial well being. Educate yourself about investing and money management. Set realistic goals as it is the primary key to your success. Be involved in day-to-day management of your family's finances. Build and emergency fund and don't let fear of failure stop you from investing.

This post has been published here too!
Click on the image to read about the interview and more!