Unveiling an Open Secret

Everything in India comes back to family. Acceptance is really important, and whenever someone does something which isn't a norm, they get shamed. Even if their family accepts it, it has to remain a secret. This acceptance should go beyond the household - this includes the society, friends and relatives, neighbours, law makers, and the moral police.

The Hindu tradition is not void of same sex depictions in many instances. Yet, homosexuals continue to be alienated from the social community. Even the law under Section 377 forces criminal charges on any sexual act that is unnatural which has put these sections of the society into terrible stress.

This is even more stressful when it comes to transgenders. Though the society overtly recognises the trans people as hijras or eunuchs, we aren't comfortable allowing them to use a third gender to identify themselves with. This again is kept a secret which everyone knows.

While most of us would easily lay down and revel over gay and lesbian genres in porn, none of us want them to actually live their lives socially. We want their existence to be merely limited to our fantasies. Such genres exist only because these people exist, it's real.

With the number of same sex marriages rising in the country, most of them refrain from publicising their preferences. Even though many metros across the country host gay parties providing a platform for like minded people to meet, they still are organised in secret. Very few people would have even heard the names Gaydar and Gay Bombay. Other social hubs that openly deny any adherence to the LGBTQ+ community only allow secret hangouts instead to prevent interdiction and damage from local politics.

While there is a good number out there who have raced to incredible heights and carved their names on the walls of success, people like Anjali Ameer were too scared to leave their exile. Now she is going to star in a movie releasing this December. Yet there are many who only chose to reveal their identity after they were assured of their protection.

Though the situation in the country has changed now, most of the masses aren't yet ready.
We fail to realise that they are just as real as us. Being hostile towards them won't change the facts. They exist and the earlier we realise that, the better.

Image Source:Youtube

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There's hatred. And for a good reason!

[Warning: Content is highly misandrist and anti feminist]

Why most of us hate men?

Is it just that we tend to find and fall for the worst ones? The one's we met were flamboyant, shallow, interested only in cricket and sex, insecure, and threatened by any strong woman who came along.

Must we assume that all men are the same?

Are they all rotten humans?

Of course not. Perhaps, such generalisation would be obscure about men.

There are decent men who behave decently. But there are also men who only want those women who do as they are told. Then there are passionate lovers. But there are also those who only want sex. To some beauty is just skin deep, looks don't matter to them and they go marry the one whose heart is beautiful. But no, there are men who only want glamour queens.

Of all the people we know, most seem to be in a camaraderie that do not require one person to be blown at or denigrated by the other. But may be that's what they show. Maybe inside they are just as insecure and hurt as any of us are in our lives and relationships.

Men try real hard to act as if they are loved and wanted by all. Men hate and fear confident women. They are extremely good at manipulating you. No matter how strong, confident and independent a woman is, she has a docile heart, you all do. First they get you used to them, push their schedule into yours, and when you finally make them a part of your lives, they begin to sway. Women are too emotionally dependent by this time and these men know how to make the best of it-- 

--You get ignored, all your plans get run on, and things go wrong, yet you are easily brushed off until its gets uncompromisingly bad. And then you know you are screwed because you know that even though you brought it up late, it was already ruined when he made you an option. Yet you bargain for empty promises, with nothing to show that they were ever made in the first place. You try not to complain or pressurise him even though the problems keep occurring and you console yourself thinking he is working on it. But it gets worse each day and it isn't long before he breaks you just like one of his toy cars.

You can't complain because he never allowed you that privilege, he never promised his love and attention but made sure that he made you dependent enough that way. You can't move out because now you undeniably want him and are ready to do whatever just for a speck of his attention, not that you are desperate, but you want him to reciprocate because you've put in more effort on this supposedly unbreakable connection than you should have. You know that he is indeed a playboy and regret for not having believed his words earlier.

Such men are proud of what they do. They always keep options ready, at least a couple of women whom they lie to, cheat on, and entertain themselves with. But they really know there is no one out there for them. They are not ready to fight. They are too good at keeping secrets and dodging off all kinds of questions that might ruin their well orchestrated plan. They are not ready to accept that they ruined what they did- they killed a heart and broke it into tiny pieces incapable of loving wholeheartedly ever after. They aren't sorry at all.

No matter what they say, it's all just a part of manipulation. They pledge on their 'first' love and pray for another chance.

Dear women, those stories that'd even melt a stone couldn't have created such hardhearted playboys. Such men are not in search of any emotional attachment. And it annoys you that they aren't one bit apologetic about it. But don't hope for a change. Such men do it, again, because they like it. Such men deserve to be never loved, again. Such men deserve hate.

Smarter, wiser and a decade later...

 About 10 years back I craved to become an adult and always wondered how I would feel when it would be 2017.

How excited I was to celebrate my 18th birthday!

Well, now I'm way older than that!

I'm not sad that I grew up so fast, like many of us, I'm just not content with my experiences as an adult.

I always cringe when I think of my younger self.

That could mean years ago, months ago, weeks ago, or even seconds ago.

I always thought that I was constantly growing mentally and that my thoughts and decisions would only get smarter and smarter.

I discovered that I've always been the exact same person, and no matter how reasonable a decision sounds at first, it will always be looked down upon by my future self.

I developed a strange mindset the last two months where I gladly accepted all my bad choices as mistakes because it meant that history wouldn't be repeating itself.

And if it did, then I'd be prepared.

But no.

It's not worth the knowledge anymore.

And definitely not the experience gained.