Be Me Or Not To Be Me?

"Live for yourself, not for the world",

that's what they all say.

But somehow, I always find myself giving a lot of importance to the people around me, I keep pondering over what they think of me, and how well I've been able to impress them.
And hence, I've been thinking a lot lately about the decisions I make.
What do people think of me when they see me? Do they see a woman of integrity, or just a goofy kid with a YouTube account?
Why do I hold this cowardice when it comes to standing firm in who I am and who I choose to follow?
Is it the fear of rejection, or the innate defensive reaction to attack?

I haven't the slightest.
Every action I take affects how others visualize me.
This isn't to say that everyone's opinions of me are what's important.
But certainly, I should be living up to a specific standard. If I'm not meeting that standard, then I need to rethink my decision making process.
Still, in the coming weeks, I'm going to try and make my true-self more apparent to those around me, instead of compromising my values for the sake of conforming. I hope everyone will respect that choice.

It's A Conspiracy! Ha!

Ow!! I hit my toe again, and I feel these things plan it all up like this, don't you think so?

Monotonous

Doing the last check of the night, I go through my several different internet-social mediums: Facebook, Gmail, Blogger, Yahoo, Twitter, Youtube. Always in this order, though depending on my current position, one or two of these may be exempted due to deletion and/or neglect.

This is the routine. I wonder how I ever managed without these. Then, I wonder why I believe it's essential to my functionality. When will I realize the destructive nature of monotony?

There are a few things more excruciating than nothing.

However, something new has caught my attention, even though at the apex of it all, it's not the only thing, and that's most upsetting. Is it an instinct of survival? Has my mind created the desires and illusions out of pure inactivity?

I check it all again, before going to bed -the pointless social outlets only serving to highlight my own inadequacies...

...until tomorrow, where something, someone, can distract me again between the stages of lacking.

Smile, Listen, Agree

And then do whatever you wanted to do anyways!

Day Two: With the Fun Five

The Drive: Haridwar To Hrishikesh
Camp Rendezvous
The Bungy

27th of September

4 a.m.
We all were deep in our sleep when the conductor started-
"Everybody to Dehradun please get down, another bus down there will take you from here."
After a while he came back and,
"Everybody to Dehradun please get down your bus is waiting people to Hardiwar may get down as well."
We looked at our watches and wondered, twas just 4 a.m., how could we reach Haridwar so easily?

Day One: With the Fun Five

The start: New Delhi To Haridwar

26th of September

Oh wait, let me introduce you to us, The Fun Five:
Nuts- Me, with the famous mersmerizing eyes or Nashili Aankhe, a foodie and a smart ass crazy biker, tallest and craziest in the team.
Sukhdu- The ultimate challenge for all of us, she's beyond anybody's catch, totally adventurous, funny, seems like she's on a challenging diet, but no, she eats lots and yet just 100 pounds! And yeah, she also took up the title of the so called team leader, God knows who allowed her that! Lol :P
Moats- The lovely chubby teddy in our team, she's all smiles all the time, totally lovable, loving and caring, in other words, she was The Mommy of our team! PS- We share a deep sleep relation, her tummy often becomes my pillow! Ha!
Tanny- The Always-Odd-One-Staying-Out. This always happens with Tanny, the slow turtle, it's a mystery how she just disappears from the group and is finally back after a long search, the ultimate foodie, the source of revival for  the whole trip, you shall know soon!
Kaddu- This is our Highway (Wo)Man! Always enthusiastic, the food-looter, nothing in the world is impossible for her, and she's going to prove it now! :)

This is how we finally found our seats:

Go Go Girls!!

OMG! Twas 25th, just three days more and these girls were going to leave me, go home, my lovely roomies, we have been sharing a nice little place with ourselves since a few months and I've had the best time with them but wait, was it going to come to an end?