HEADLINES: Raped Again- Survival is a shame.

This post was featured on Women'sWeb in June!

To read this post on Women's Web, click here.

NEWS HEADLINES in last week's papers:

Woman raped for years by her husband survived.
A 3-year old girl raped and thrown into the woods survived, rapists at large.
An old lady raped and murdered in her apartment, murder reason unknown.
A woman tortured to have sex till she gave in, victim hospitalised.
Another girl killed.
Raped girl survives.

I wonder why isn't anyone enraged by these?
There are so many things wrong about this.

The media that portrays only the victim and their status-raped.
None of the headlines were about the rapists and the murderers.
Every page has the headline raped, tortured for sex, acid attacks, raped and killed, which was so entertaining for most of us and has now become just another boring story.
The word 'survived'.
SURVIVED.

The raped-tortured-almost dead-girl-with haunting memories-broken dreams-full of fear survived.

What do we do about this?
We read and we move on.
Not caring to want to know the girl, her feelings, her thoughts, her rage!
Not caring why the person raped/murdered her and wondering why 'she' was raped.
Not caring enough to see whether the culprits and rapist animals were punished for their crime.
Not caring enough to check whether the girl really survived or not.
Not caring enough if her family stood by her or if she had to fight all this alone.

Because survival is staying alive.
Staying alive to worry who will marry her.
Staying alive to only be looked down at.
Staying alive to receive a status perceived as impure by the society.
Staying alive to see her offenders roam freely searching for another victim.
Staying alive to survive all this.

Of course she will survive and she will live for a hundred years.

But not for this.

She will live to see that her offenders are punished for their actions, for not respecting her and her body, for not asking her consent, for not being able to contain their cruel intentions, for leaving her to die, for not being human.

Its such a shame that we who talk about feminism, and pray to women in the form of goddesses and deities still do not respect even the tiniest form of female and dash to destroy it in the most vicious manner ever.
Its such a shame that we who talk about gender equality limit females and their importance to their sheer body and its parts which define their purity, character, decency, modesty, education, success, eligibility to marry and to have a family.
Its such a shame that we live among the same people and call them hypocrites when all we do is popularise misogyny and support the same hypocrisy that we criticise.
Its such a shame that we do not understand the meaning of survival unless 'it' happens to us.
Its such a shame that 'it' shouldn't be happening to any of us, not even the rapists, yet we do it.
'It' is such a shame.
Such survival is a shame.

Tattoos aren't alien after all...

When it comes to tattoos. there is much stigma attached to it. With the commonality of people getting inked these days, seeing a person with a tattooed sleeve will not stop people from glaring back. They still express a loathing disgust towards it no matter how mundane and mediocre the concept of tattooing might have become, people still consider tattoos unprofessional and weird and cast off tattooed individuals as an alien race.

Tattoos are a form of personal expression and not just some permanent ink on human canvas. It's a matter of personal preference of what one decides to get permanently drawn on their skin. So basically by calling tattoos unprofessional, they are calling personal expression unprofessional. People are denied from jobs because they have a visible tattoo, they're banned from certain services. My grandma can have a tattoo once painfully etched into her hand decades ago, it was the tradition then. Remember the time when our priests and monks got tattoos on their foreheads, the time when they were considered sacred, accomplishments and trophies they wore on their skin? We are far from that now.

A couple of my friends have tattoos and they look beautiful. Some got them done for a purpose, others just got them done because they liked the concept of commitment. I have a few tattoos myself. Yet because of the stigma attached to it, we don't go around showcasing our art to avoid answering a hundred meaningless questions.
What surprises me is the way people ask, "What does your tattoo mean?" Tattoos might or might not have any meaning. They could be anything you like. It could be a memory, a word, a simple cartoon or something that you find cute. Why does one need to have a reason for anything they like, for their expression?

I was a girl too scared of needles. Even a short visit to the doctor pushed me into fearful trauma of undergoing the nightmare of being pricked by needles and seeing my own blood. So when I was old enough to take my own decisions, I decided to get a tattoo a few years back to get rid of the phobia.

I got some veiled stars done on my ankle. It was painful but pretty and of course worth it because in the end, I wasn't scared of needles. In fact I was more inclined towards the idea, the art and beauty of it.

Soon after this one healed, I wanted to get some more. It took me almost a year before I could decide what to get. So well, unlike the first one, this one hardly holds any meaning, except for the fact that I liked playing guitar. I also got the first one redone this time.

And now I was determined to get a leg sleeve, I knew that another tattoo was in line. Well, my artist sensed it and he even reserved the dates for the next one. Smart fellow! The next tattoo was magnificent. I got a swan, which goes by the name I identify myself with on social media. My artist decided to incorporate some mandala for a change, great job I must say.

Now you might be wondering how it looks like altogether? It looks beautiful and I don't seem to get bored of it even after so many years.
Does it shock people? Yes, it does. And it makes me feel different yet funny as I look back at them and smirk away.
What do I say when they ask me the meaning of it? Well, you wouldn't understand unless you get one done (as I hand them my artist's card).

As for you all my faithful readers, here a complete picture of my incomplete yet beautiful leg sleeve-

Good luck folks, get a tattoo and carry it with pride.
It's a certificate of your long term commitment, which many people are scared of.
It the proof of the pain that you've been through.
It's the evidence of your love for simple things as trivial as a feather.

Anyone interested in tattoos can inbox me or comment below!

This post was published here too!

Am I A Feminist?

Recently someone asked me why I keep posting passive aggressive articles regarding gender equality, women, why do I hate men so much and if I was a feminist?

Let me affirm that my articles are not aggressive, they are just strict reminders to all those who have forgotten that the whole human race includes men and women and also any other individual regardless of the gender they identify themselves with, and none is inferior to the other.

Ever wondered why feminism exists and "masculinism" doesn't?
Of course a word like that wouldn't make it into the dictionary but seriously, what did women do to be perceived this way?
Women are often seen as weaker than men when they're the ones who have to grow a life inside their abdomens and get that thing sucked out of their vaginas.

There are hardly any female leaders in general and it's considered headline-worthy when a female accomplishes anything.
If anyone finds my posts aggressive in the least it only means that they don't understand the real definition of human.

It only means that they want to continue living in hypocrisy and with their misogynistic attitude no matter what.
So no, I am not exactly a feminist, besides I also like siding with the men many a times, so I don't hate men either.

I don't understand why everyone gets so stirred and frantic over this term?

F-E-M-I-N-I-S-M

Feminists are often termed as 'femi-nazis'.

They are percieved as draculas out seeking blood of every person who dares to offend them.

No. It's not just that.

Feminists are those who stand up not just for women, but also for men and those people who are yet to identify their gender including children.

And yes, they will seek your blood if you don't understand the mere meaning of equality, and continue harassing and subduing the ones who don't deserve to be treated so.

And if they are still called nazis and draculas, so be it!

Also. after reading this post if you still think I'm a feminist, then I don't mind being called one.

Maybe I'd be proud of it.
I'd be proud that my posts intrigued and provoked you.
That I have the power to evoke that anger and thirst for justice in a world, in a people who have long forgotten what women are capable of.
That I am indeed a feminist.

Just A Woman: Part 5

Kalki is back at it again, with an intense piece about the truths of womanhood.

Woman, hide!

Why?

Why am I expected to be a fertile female but not allowed to disclose or reveal it?

Why am I expected to hide my true self and come out as something that I am not?

Don’t blame men.                            Women are as guilty.

If you wear anything but a traditional chudidaar and cover yourself in layers of folded fabric never mind the hot climate, you are deemed a characterless slut who is out for promotions on the bed. You're basically asking for it. Even a tiny hint of the strap on your shoulder creates a furore over your breasts and their existence. Your tops aren't supposed to reveal what's beneath them, they are so alarmed by the mere presence of what fed them after birth. 

Saris can reveal 6 inches of delicate waist but a faint glimpse of the female abdomen under a shirt will make them cringe as if they have seen something unholy.
Chop off those beautiful tresses that took so long to grow. Shove those pretty dresses and tops deep into your wardrobe to rot. Keep yourself wrapped in a shroud at all times. Own a permanent scowl.

Most of your problems will be solved when you don't look like a woman.
I wasn't actually going to talk about anything like this but then why not?

Those women that know what and who they want just can't be controlled by threats, walks of shame and moral exhortations. When they go ahead and fight for self-worth and voice their dislikes and discomfort, it is taken as a sign of rebellion and this greatly appals a certain section of men as well as women (which surprises me).

Those ladies who have dared to walk past the scorning perverts fearlessly are equally harassed by their own sex who come across as screeching owls upon the slightest evidence of femininity that these ladies possess.

So how do you go about it?

You start by shedding all traces of your femininity.

Technically according to a huge population in this world, the body of a female only exists for a man's needs. And you just cannot reveal anything apart from your face, fingers and toes.

You mustn't speak before a man, walk before a man or even go about doing your work if its not serving your man, if you do, all your accomplishments make you nothing but base and despicable.

So, it’s up to you.

Do you want to continue doing what others want or do you want to live life on your own terms?

Nobody but you gets to decide that for you.

This post was featured here!

Just A Woman: Part 4

She is back at it again with #DoYou for fighting and persistent women!