A Strange Me!

Before, life was simple, it was seen as it was, it was shown as it was.
I left that world far away behind me, and it has been a lot of time since then.
It's all too complicated for me now. It's all fake. Me, the people around, the things happening, everything!
All the people I now know are too fast for me to cope up with their speed.

So, technically, I've outlived my past, and the the present is too fast for me to catch up to meet these fake futuristic demands.

All in all, I'm lost-
It happens sometimes that I can't accept the reality and so I tend to live in delusions... in a photo framed world where I force myself to live in those skeptical boundaries which I can't escape.
And this is happening to me.

It's not just words. I can't let anybody into me.
I talk only because I can't ignore.

Whenever I talk to people from my past, it freaks me out. It makes me realize what I have become, a stranger to my own self.
I have unknowingly changed myself, completely, and now I want to get back where I was before.

Am I still the girl who loved herself more than anything in the world?
Am I still my own fashionista?
Do I still have my conscience alive and strong?
Can I still fight my fights alone?

I doubt if the answers for the above are affirmative, and that's really bad.

I hate my surroundings, feel like getting a new place for myself, going somewhere nobody knows me, and starting all over again with my life, only this time being very very careful.

What I now do is, make friends with machines, speak with the web. I feel nothing, I have not a bit of heart in what I do. I splatter my thoughts over write ups like this and feel relieved. I'm messed up and so are my posts. My thoughts are vague, beyond understanding sometimes. You may not know what I think, but I know what I think, the way I think and I know it's complicated, too heavy.

All I want is that simplicity in my life, I wanna be simple in thoughts, simple in style and again, simple in writing so that- why I write and what I write is lucid and facile.

Hope my next post is much more sententious and meaningful!

The Bad Guys Vs The Good GuysVsMe

We sometimes just don't know who to trust, always confused not knowing if it's the bad guy pretending to be the good guy or the good guy pretending to be the bad guy...
Ofcourse, there will be times when you feel like nobody could love you more or care better, but believe me, such people don't exist, it's only you who can love you the most!

To help you out of such dilemma(s) here are some tips I'd love to share:

1- This guy tells you he is bad, but to you- he stands the most caring person of all.
     HE IS NOT! He is just as dangerous to you as he is to the rest of the world. If he states otherwise then he is just LYING. Leave him before you become one of his victims to threats and abuses.

2- Your so called crush/boyfriend proposes to you within a single date/a week, and asks for your hand in marriage before his friends, family or cousins.
     He is a complete NO-NO. You are interesting to him, and probably his new favorite show piece. He is scared to lose you and wants to secure you before you get to know the reality. He does it publicly and so fast that you are left with no time to think nor space to adjust to what is happening- he is forcing you to say a "yes". Leave him.

3- You become his princess for the first 3 weeks/weekends, and with the onset of the fourth, he just begins to ignore you.
Then my girl, he is already BORED and he is actually looking out for space and privacy and wants to break up now! Leave him, it isn't too late.




4- He sticks to you 24/7 on the phone or at home and feels bad when you go out with your girlfriends or brings up a new fight when you are about to have some fun.

He is SPYING on you, wants to CAGE you, and is very JEALOUS of your life. Leave him before he makes you his pet parrot! You definitely don't want to live like that.








5- He constantly reminds you of your past and your mistakes, taunts you, and argues over the same topic over and over again.
He just CAN'T LET GO, despite his own mistakes. Leave him, otherwise he will make you cry over why you even existed.

6- This dreamboy of yours keeps flaunting himself and his lifestyle etc etc and tells you how bad you live.
He is FAKE just trying to make an impression of what he is not.








7- He says he loves you, but still keeps hitting you with "see what you've done", "you don't even know this", "oh god, you have such bad circles" etc etc...
He is a tough NARCISSIST, trying to make you feel low all the time and portraying his greatness over plain canvasses. You are just his new favorite for his favorite hobby. He loves himself the most and CAN'T LOVE anybody else. Leave him, you don't want to be depressed for the rest of the time thinking how bad and lowly and stupid you're.

8- He breaks up with you, then wants you to call him and be with him, and this happens almost every second day.
My darling, you were NEVER IMPORTANT to him, you're just a piece of ass that he is playing around with till the right one takes him back. Stop entertaining him and don't give in no matter how badly he wants you back. You'll be surprised at how fast he finds his new "hot babe" without wasting any time..







9- If he tells you, that you both share a special bond and that you're v dear to him, and that it has to remain a secret, a secret that only you two can enjoy, then BOO! He is the wrong guy. He might just be telling the same thing to 10 other girls around you. He is a playboy looking for some fun, that's it.

If you're guy holds green to anyone of the above, then it's time you knew if it's the bad guy or the good one!!
Hope this helps.

Good Luck.